Things I Learn from a 10 Year Old

Yesterday my daughter was snubbed a little by some of her friends.   They were busy doing “middle schooler” things and she wasn’t included and it hurt her feelings a little.   I saw her sitting outside on the driveway by herself, and IMMEDIATELY my stomach tied itself in knots and I felt like crying.   I was certain she was miserable, and that her pain must be excrutiating.

I called her inside and talked to her about what was going on, and she responded calmly that she knew they were her friends, and that sometimes it isn’t cool to hang out with younger kids, but she was fine.   She knew they’d be back together soon.

I was dumbfounded. 

Seriously kid?   Isn’t your heart breaking?   Isn’t your world ending?    Don’t you feel like crying?   I’M HERE FOR YOU!

She was okay.    A little hurt, but not broken.   Not devastated. 

I sat and stared at her.   A little amazed.   And then it hit me.   I was projecting my own feelings onto her situation.   

When I saw her being “left out” I immediately remembered my own hurts from childhood and expected her to have the same response.  And what I saw, wasn’t the little girl who thought she wasn’t good enough who took the rejection and relived it over and over in her head.   Instead, I saw a little girl who recognized that she hurt a little, who didn’t necessarily “like” it, but was confident enough to know that it didn’t change her relationship with her friends.    She was able to understand that it was one moment in a lifetime, and it didn’t even occur to her to define herself by it.

Wow.  

I’ve done something right.  I’m raising a strong little person.   And I think it might not hurt to note, that I’m beginning to wonder if I shouldn’t take a page from her book, and just let things go.   

Life lessons from a 10 year old.   There you go.