Monday, November 29, 2010

Today's thoughts are brought to you by Target.....or at least conversations there!

I saw a dear friend of mine at Target yesterday.   It was nice to chat, but we ended up commiserating about how we had "lost a little mojo" on the exercise front.   Me with my injury, and she with some life and home changes that had been going on.   It wasn't a bitch session, but rather....we both ended up saying we really enjoyed having the extra time we used to fill up with exercise.

This really got me thinking.  I really enjoy exercise, and I am really enjoying working towards a goal, but I'm wondering if I am doing it in a completely balanced way.   I mean...having a goal is great, it's exciting, and it's such a rush to complete....but I think perhaps I have been focusing too much on the end result, and not enough on the here and now.

I had noticed that the laundry was piling up, the house wasn't as clean as I liked, and I felt like I was neglecting some of the other aspects of my life.   Now that I've slowed down a little, I have regained the wheel so to speak, on keeping up with that side of my life as well.   I am still exercising and trying to keep up on the training as best as I can, but I am also keeping a watchful eye on the other parts of my life, like home, family, etc.  I've read 2 books...I'm giving myself some much needed quiet time, and I'm liking it!  Oh...and guess what....I've maintained my weight, I'm still exercising albeit in a modified manner, and I'm HAPPIER!

I think I stepped over the line a little.   I got a little obsessed with the goal, and completing it.    I was spending TOO MUCH time on that one thing, and let the balance of my life get out of whack.   I think exercise is like any other drug....too much obsessing about it is NOT a good thing.   I still intend to do the work,  and to go the distance, but not at the expense of everything else.   I can't build my life around a training routine, I have to fit a training routine into MY life.   And perhaps that means I slow down a little.   I have no intention of stopping, just readjusting a little.   When exercise becomes an obsession, it is just as unhealthy as overeating and being a sloth.  I know I have an obsessive tendency to my personality, with all things, healthy or otherwise, so I don't know why realizing this is such a surprise to me.   The key finding balance.

All insights today are courtesy of Target....or at least the conversations I've had there recently!!  Thanks R.   Although you may not know it...that little talk we had yesterday helped me out a lot!  Honestly, I don't think we've lost our mojo, I think we've simply modified it,  found a little balance and regained a little sanity.  And trust me, we'll accomplish our goals, and find it more rewarding knowing that we did it along with being good at a LOT of other things as well.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Tough Girl Radio

I have always loved Pat Benetar.   I sang her songs when they first came out on the radio (remember when you only heard songs on the radio?), I bought her cassette tapes in my teens, I bought her greatest hits CD in my twenties, and I even sang her songs karaoke style at my bachelorette party in my thirties (and maybe a few other times).   I still turn up the radio really loud when I hear her music.   It makes me happy, and fills me with girl power.

This morning as I lay in bed not wanting to get up because it was rainy and chilly, I was listening to the radio, and guess what came on.........Pat Benetar's classic, "Hit me With Your Best Shot."  

I've often said that God is my DJ, and I think that this might be yet another classic case of a higher power communicating with me through my radio.  Ha.  

I've been a little down.   I went to the doctor this week, and although my toe doesn't require surgery, I do have to rest it for a while.   I can't do ANY exercising for 2 weeks, and even then, it's on a wait and see basis.   When you put that on top of the fact that I was sick before this latest foot incident, I will have been out of my training routine for 5 weeks before any CHANCE of returning and I know I won't be at full capacity for at least 6 weeks from now.    It has just seemed like when I get going, really moving ahead, that I get a blow to knock me back.   The toe being the most recent.   Last night I was really starting to feel a little hopeless about it.   I went to bed thinking about how hard I've worked, and that now all that work might have been for nothing, as I might not even be able to participate in this goal I'd set.   I was sad, and feeling a little defeated.

I finally fell asleep (very late) and then woke up to the sound of rain.   I was certain that I was going to have a bad day, and then BAM.....there's Pat.     Now I know that this song isn't about an imaginary entity out there trying to hold me back, but man....that's how I took it this morning, and it just revved me up.   I laid in bed and really listened to what she was saying.....and I decided right then and there that I wasn't going to take it.  

"You come on with your come ons,
you don't fight fair,
that's okay, see if I care.
You knock me down, it's all in vain,
I get back right on my feet again."

By the time this verse came on...I was totally committed.   No giving up.   Knock me down, and I'm back on the horse.   You can't stop me.   It may not be fair, and frankly...I can say, it's NOT.   But I have no choice but to keep moving ahead.   Staying still or falling back are not an option.   I'll be back.   I'll be back, and probably doing better, running faster, and working harder because of this.  

Go ahead world.   Hit me with your best shot.   I'm NOT quitting.    And for this little ray of sanity....I thank you Pat Benetar.   You reminded me what tough girls do when they get knocked down....they get up, dust themselves off, and fight back!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

2010...The year of the Foot!

All I can really do is laugh....although I did cry a little.

This morning in my rush to get the kids out the door so I could prepare for our visitors this weekend, I ran through my bedroom to get to the bathroom, bashed my foot into the suitcase my husband left on the floor last night when he got home, and snapped my pinky toe.    I heard the snap, I knew immediately.     Broken.

So...Jason took me to urgent care for x-rays, and sure enough...the report given was...."you broke it, really good.  Snapped it.   It's not a small break"   Nice.   I held it together until the doctor left the room, and then burst into tears.  

REALLY?   SERIOUSLY?    6-8 WEEKS?   It seems like I was just getting my momentum back and bam.   Now I'm on crutches, and not able to train like I want to for at least 6-8 weeks until this heals and I might need to have it pinned back into place.   (Oh yeah...and it's the same foot I have the coalition in so I have to be extra careful not to cause reinjury to that again!)

I know it's not serious.   I know I'll be fine.   It's not the end of the world.  But you ever feel like the universe is out to screw with your plans?   It feels like there is some unknown negative entity out there that it trying to put the brakes on things for me no matter how hard I try.   One step forward....two back.

I guess this will be a good test of my determination.   I made it through 14 weeks in a boot for the other problem, and continued to move ahead, so I can make it through this.    It's hard not to get frustrated, and it's hard to always put on the positive face when what I really want to do is pout, piss, and moan.   That, however, isn't going to get me anywhere.   I'll give myself a little time to be mad/sad/upset/pissed, and then I'm gonna put it behind me and do what I need to do to get better.   Use my crutches, wear my boot (OMG I am SO bejeweling it this time!), and take the time to heal.

So....2010 will officially be labeled the "Year of the Foot" at my house.   I will have spent approx. 20 weeks of this year nursing wounds to my right foot, yes,   BUT...I will have also spent approx. 20 weeks tending to myself, doing what I have to to be healthy, and continuing forward momentum through circumstances beyond my control.  Okay universe......instead of cursing it......I lift a toast to the "Year of the Foot" and I will come away from it stronger than ever!  (and if it takes more than one toast to get there, I'll just keep drinking! ha!  I'M KIDDING!!)