Sunday, July 31, 2011

Anyone have a Hammer?

Have you ever had one of those weeks?   Really and truly, one of those weeks where it seems like the universe is taking a colossal crap right on your head?    Well, for me....this one is close to topping the list.
I went bowling with my kids about 10 days ago.   We had a great time.   They loved it, and we laughed and danced, and just had a great time.   That is, until I woke up the next morning with a grapefruit of swelling on my left knee.   Hmm...strange.   So I went to the doctor, and they said I had probably torn cartilage or a tendon, and I would have to wear a knee brace.    Just go pick one up at the store, they said.   You can get one anywhere.  Not the news I wanted, but I was doing what they told me.   Go get a brace.   Check.
So I went to Wal Mart.   I bought 3 different braces, took them home, and got the kick in the teeth that none of them fit.   One of them, labeled XXL didn’t even go over my calf.   Nice.   Just what I needed really, was a reason to obsess about my weight.   NOT!    I called the doctor the next day and they had me go to a specialty place.   Got my brace for my big fat knee.   Check.
Before the kneasle happened (thanks Jason....that’s his term) I had been having some swelling in my neck and had in general just had a feeling of being really tired.   I had been to the doctor and had some blood work done and had heard nothing back, so I assumed that things were fine.  (you know what they say about assuming right???)   Well anyway, through the knee problem, a nurse called me from the doctor’s office with the prescription for the knee brace and casually asked, “has anyone talked to you about your lab work?”   I said no, so she proceeded to read me the results, and in those results she told me that I did NOT have Lyme’s disease, but I did in fact have MONO!   Seriously?   Mono?   Kissing disease, check.
So...as I digested the mono diagnosis, and made an appointment to see the doctor to find out what this means for my restrictions, they decided to schedule an MRI on my knee.   So...appointment will now include instructions for mono and MRI report.   Check.
On top of all of this, I had made an appointment about a month ago with my foot doctor.   You remember the foot, right?   Broken?   Gave me lots of trouble last year?   Well, I had been having some trouble before all of this began, so I made an appointment.   Lucky me, it just happened to fall in this past week of magic.   THAT doctor said...severe tendinitis in my right foot and ankle.   His suggestion?   Back in the boot for 3 weeks.    He said as long as the boot isn’t on the leg with the bad knee....I should be fine to wear BOTH.   ARE YOU FRIGGING SERIOUS?   I am NOT wearing a knee brace on one leg and a BOOT on the other.   As of today, I am completely ignoring his advice until I get the knee under control.   Ignoring podiatrist....check.
By the time this little jewel was introduced into my life....I had spent a fair amount of the week in tears.   I don’t do this kind of thing gracefully, and to have ALL of this thrust upon me at one time was really beginning to take a toll, but I was going to get through it.   That’s what I do....I go on.   I handle things.  I learn from what the universe has to say, and I go with it.  Keeping nervous breakdown at bay?   CHECK!
Well...apparently the stress of it all had taken a toll and I hadn’t yet learned my lesson.   I had the MRI on Friday, but before that could happen, I threw out my back from the screwed up gait, stress, and God only knows what....and ended up with the mother of all spasms in my mid back.   I couldn’t get up from bed without going onto all fours, but I couldn’t go onto all fours, because of my knee, so I was stuck.   To make a long story even longer, Jason ended up taking me to the ER, where in the process of placing an IV, the nurse blew two veins in my hands before pumping me full of opiates so I could relax and stop crying.    Opiates, narcotics, and bruised swollen hands.   CHECK!
I guess I can just say, it’s been the mother of all weeks, and I think perhaps I am beginning to see the humor in it.   I mean, there IS something comical about a booted, braced, bruised woman with mono just trying to get through the day, right?
Honestly though, I have to try to find the humor in this, because this is an obstacle that is testing me.   It is testing my resolve.   It is testing my strength, and it is SERIOUSLY testing my patience.   I am terrified that all of this could mean that I am on exercise restriction for a longer while than I want, and that I am going to lose progress I have made.   I am scared that my mood will deteriorate and I will give up.   I am afraid that I won’t be able to get back to the intensity that I want.   I am scared that I have pushed myself into an injury that could potentially keep me from things I want.  I’m scared I did this by not listening to my body.  I’m just scared.  
I’ll know more this week.   MRI results will be in.   I will see the doctor, and I will begin to formulate a plan for recovery, rest, and rehab.
So I’m looking for the humor.  And if I can’t find that.....I’m looking for a hammer, and I’m going to start hitting things.   :)