Monday, February 11, 2013

Where does YOUR village come from?

I have been thinking recently about how things in my life have just fallen into place at times.    Right when I needed it most.  Sometimes it’s finding a lost item, remembering something I forgot, or a chance meeting that makes a huge difference in your life. 

I do believe that sometimes you are put in a place by God/the universe/whatever you believe, so that you can find a part of yourself you were missing.     I have met many beautiful people this way, and through those meetings, I have healed, grown, and experienced great joy.

My girlfriend from College, Anne, and I met up many years after graduation at a wedding.   We always wanted to be better friends in our college years, and for stupid boy related reasons, we didn’t get that done.   At this wedding we had a blast.   We reconnected, and eventually, she and her husband helped us find our home here in Kansas City.   Now, she is one of my best friends, to whom I can say just about anything.   She is one of my biggest cheerleaders, and I cannot express enough how much I wish this friendship had started when I was 18……but I am ever so grateful for the one I have with her now. 

I met my friend Robin at the bus stop, just at a time when I needed a good friend to lean on.   Claire was just starting kindergarten, I was alone in a new city, and I was having some trouble feeling like I fit in.  She became my go to person, and has remained so for almost 4 years now.   She was a major part of starting and helping sustain positive  changes in my life, and I am thankful for her, and her family every day.  Robin is different from me…but reminds me often of the good things in my life.   I love her, and know she will be a lifelong friend. 

Recently I have found another community of support that was completely brought to me by chance.  

We went on a cruise.   It was awesome.   And we went to dinner that first night to realize that we had to share a table with another family.   I have to admit, I was kind of ticked.   We are a pretty close family, and would have been really annoyed to find that our dinner companions were douchebags.  Luckily for us, this was not the case.   We were paired up with a couple and their daughter, and we quickly found we were compatible in many ways.   We ended up spending time with them on the cruise, and enjoyed some good conversation and more than a little good wine.  

But it didn’t end there.   After coming home, I talked a little more with this woman I met, and we found we had even more in common.  (In some ways we have walked the same path..)   We had joked on the cruise that we had found our people….I think to a certain extent this might be true.   Although she lives many states away, she has put me in touch with some other gals she knows, and I now have this amazing support group online that I check in with daily.   Because of this chance encounter, my community has grown.   My village is stronger, and because of that, I am stronger. 

This is out of my comfort zone.   I don’t generally trust people easily, and it was hard for me to trust these women, because in my past, lots of women didn’t deserve my trust.   But I am ever so glad that I did. 

I have many friends and family, but these examples have been ruminating in my head for quite a while.   And where do I want this to take you? 

I hope it takes you to a place where you will be thankful for those people in your life who have helped you change, who have carried you when you couldn’t walk alone, and who support you with no expectation.   I also hope it shows how women from anywhere can support one another.   Whether these ladies know it or not, they are now permanently a part of my support structure.   They build me up.

Where am I going with this love fest?   I guess I would just encourage you all to see the support that is out there.   Look at the people surrounding you, and be open to what they can add to your life.   Sometimes the most miraculous things come when you least expect it.