Tuesday, July 16, 2013
I need help with something.
Why when something doesn’t go our way, or work in our favor do we immediately search for an inherent deficit in ourselves that is the reason?
Why do we do this to ourselves?
And I am not just talking about myself. I am speaking about most women that I know. I am speaking about my 11 year old daughter who is already blaming herself for things beyond her control. I am talking about the beautiful friends I have who think that if they just change something in themselves, that bad things will cease to happen. I am talking about women, men, and kids....
Why do we do this? Why do I? Why do you?
Wouldn’t it be freeing to just accept that sometimes things don’t work out in our favor. This isn’t the universe working against us. This isn’t because we are fat, or ugly, or thin, or stupid. It just IS…what it IS. Sometimes things will come in their own time, and sometimes they won't. But it sure as hell isn't our fault all the time. There are forces at work in this world that have NOTHING to do with us at all.
I am not saying that we shouldn’t work hard for things. I am not suggesting that everything in life is fair. And I am certainly NOT suggesting that we don't have a personal responsibility to do our best. Self improvement is okay, but sometimes crappy stuff happens, and we have to figure out how to deal with it. Sometimes life just happens and it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with how fat/thin/smart/stupid/blonde/brunette/tan/pale/tall/short (you see where I'm going here?) we are...WE OURSELVES are not always the reason for all the things that don't go our way.
I believe with all my heart that if we can find a way to deal with whatever stops us in our tracks, WITHOUT tearing ourselves apart physically and mentally, we will be on the road to fixing this epidemic of self esteem that seems to plague almost everyone I know. There HAS to be a way!
Just something I am trying to wrap my head around.