Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Time IS on my side.


Today is Claire's birthday.   She's 8.   EIGHT!   Where does the time go?   It really seems like just yesterday that she was that pudgy happy little baby.    Sometimes I wish I could just put the brakes on the clock and hold each moment a little closer for a little longer.

Funny I should be thinking this today.   It seems I'm always in a rush.   Gotta get this done, gotta do that.   Get to that finish line.....quick quick quick.   I'm afraid that mentality has gotten me into trouble once again.   I was released by my dr. to exercise at will when I saw him last week.   Take it easy....ease into it....that's what he said to me.    I did.   I "eased" (and I use that word loosely)  over the course of a week into 3+ miles, and today I can't walk.   Yup....rushing got me nowhere but back on restriction.  

I need to slow down.   I need to listen.   I need to stop trying to hurry all the time.   I need to enjoy the moments in my life that are precious and  experience what's right in front of me instead of looking down the road for what's coming.   I need to start running my time, instead of letting it run me.

It's frustrating.   I want to work hard, to achieve my goal.   However, I have to take the time to experience the process....and I'm finding that this injury is part of the process.  The Princess Half is the goal, but it's still a long way out.   I have to heal.

It seems that time is passing so quickly, almost in the blink of an eye.   My babies aren't small anymore, and soon they won't think I'm so cool as they do now.   I can already see it coming.   I need to enjoy this time, savor it.    Before I know it, I'll be looking back and wishing I had it back.  

I am officially slowing down the hands on my own personal goal clock.   I have plenty of time.   I am going to start try to experience this journey more, and in doing so, I am sure that tiara at the end of that 13.3 mile race will be all that much more shiny because of it.  

And for my Claire....she's the greatest girl on the face of this planet.   The past eight years have been some of the best of my life, and I intend to enjoy every minute I have with her.   (yeah...even when she's sassy!!)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Lucky me


This has been a good week.   Lots of forward momentum.   Lots of feeling blessed, happy, peaceful, and lucky.

I am out of the boot (mostly) and it FEELS GREAT!   I went on my first bike ride outside of my basement today, and they might have been the greatest 8 miles of my life.   It felt so good to be out enjoying the gorgeous day and feeling that I hadn't lost all the strength in my legs.   In fact....I think I did better from all that stationary biking I'd been doing for the past 4 weeks!

I have also spent some time over the past several days being thankful for my life.   See, I had a friend lose her daughter this past week.   It made me terribly sad.   This girl had mitochondrial disease, the same disease that Andy has, only much much much more severe.  As my heart broke for her family, my heart also sang with joy that my son was so healthy and happy.   I'm lucky.   I have a good life.   I'm not gonna waste it.

It gives perspective to really realize how lucky you are, and that no bad dream, irritation, or BOOT can take that away from you.  I get irritated over silly little things and think the world is falling apart because of them, and then this tragic event happens to my friend and her family, and I re-think my life.   Nothing is more important to me than my family.  Nothing.   I am lucky to have them, and I want to be healthier to celebrate not only my accomplishment of crowning my inner princess, but to live a longer and healthier life with them as long as I can.  

My family is healthy, I am healthy, and I am going to make the most of the life that I have.   I'm lucky.