It's MY Journey, and I'm Taking My Time

I did it!   1:25:25.   That is my official time.   I made it, and maintained a pace per mile of 14.07.  I almost made my goal time, and if it hadn't been 6.2 miles through the hilly Missouri countryside  (flat course MY A**!)  ....I wouldda done it. No one stared.   No one pointed.   No one whispered.  No one laughed. I cried today when I stopped to think about what I had done.   There were times in my life when I would have never given myself the credit to do this.   Now...I can't wait to do it again.    To go farther.   To push harder.  Who would have thought that 1 hour and 25 minutes on a Saturday morning would make a such a difference difference.     I did it.   And....it was AWESOME!  

Tomorrow is a big day.   Tomorrow I am participating in my first ever 10k race.   6.2 miles.    Not a marathon, but a start. I do have to say though.....I am nervous.   I know that I routinely travel between 13-15 miles per week in my training, and that my long days are up to over 7 miles depending on how my foot feels, but I am nervous.   I'm not sure if you all are aware, but I don't exactly have the sleek physique of a seasoned runner, and my pace isn't competitive.   I wiggy wog along at my own little pace, and I do okay on my own.   This however, is going to be around other people.   Other people who run all the time.   Other people who are just using this 10k for a little "fun run."   Other people who have body fat percentages of 5.   Other people who might intimidate me.   Yup...you guessed it.   I'm guilty of self comparison.    I'm not even there yet, and I'm already doing it. There was a time in my not too distant past where I was simply

I've recently discovered something pretty alarming about myself.    Quiet is my kryptonite.    I think somewhere along the way, I have turned into one of those people who thrive on chaos and noise and high energy.   I don't like it.    I didn't know this about myself until recently.   I have always looked at the chaotic times in my life as hard, draining, and tiring.   But as things have been slowing down around here and returning to normal ( mom is okay, kids are okay, Jason is okay) I am feeling a little lost.   Like I don't know what my focus should be and I don't know what to do.   It's a little A.D.D. actually, like I can start one project, get hung up along the way, start another, and so on until I have nothing but a day full of half done things, and a mountain of laundry that I somehow forgot.    When life is crazy and hectic, I am a genius at list making, figuring out what needs to be done and how long I have to do it, and what my priority should be.

Today these song lyrics have been going through my head over and over and over, and when I stopped to look at them, it became BLATANTLY obvious why.   Slow down.  Stop rushing.   Stop pushing.  The end result will be there WHENEVER you get there to receive it.     So...enough from me....I've obviously been channeling my inner Billy.....somebody else's words are working for me today....take it away..... VIENNA - BILLY JOEL Slow down you crazy child You're so ambitious for a juvenile But then if you're so smart tell me why You are still so afraid?  Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out You got so much to do and only So many hours in a day  But you know that when the truth is told That you can get what you want Or you an just get old You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through When will you realize Vienna waits for you  Slow down you're doing fine You can't be everything you want to be

Where am I going?   This is a question that I used to have very clear and concise answers for.   I have always been a very focused person, and I do things with vigor and passion.   But when a few weeks ago, my trainer (thanks Mandy!!) put out a challenge to think about goals and where I would like to be 5 years from now, I couldn't answer.   That seems like an eternity away, and why do I need to think about it now?  Well, I ignored that challenge and didn't respond, but it hasn't left my head, so I think it's time to do a little soul searching and look at where I'm going again.  I think it's time to take a look at the BIG picture and celebrate success, learn from setbacks, and chart a new course. Success.   That's an easy one to remember.   Don't we always revel in our successes?   I mean, I've become healthier than I have ever been, I've lost weight, I've achieved strength in my body and mind, and I'm happier emotionally than I have