A Changing Story...
If you read my last blog, you know that there have been some
things in my life that I “wished” would change, and one somewhat insignificant
one was that I wished I wouldn’t sweat so much when I was at the gym. I know….weird, but as a girl who has always had
a tendency to “pit out” it’s something I have worried about for a long time.
Anyway….I was talking about it with some ladies at the gym,
and we were laughing a bit, and then one gal who is relatively new to our group
said something to me that I can’t get out of my head. She said, and I’m paraphrasing here…
“You need to go back in your memory and find
the moment when you started telling yourself the story that this is a BAD thing
and see why you’ve carried it with you for so long.”
Now this struck me, and I actually looked her up on Facebook
to message her a thank you for inspiring me to think differently. It had very little to do with me sweating,
and everything to do with me looking at my past and realizing that I have
created some of my own self fulfilling prophecies.
I’ve put a lot of thought into this over the past several
days. It’s challenged me to look at
some stuff, and I have a few things to say.
I have uncovered some very personal things this past few
days, and perhaps I’ll be up for writing about them soon, but what I want to
say is this….
I take responsibility
for my life. I accept it. I own it.
I love it.
I know that things have happened to me, and I have had hard
experiences that have shaped who I am, but I think I needed to be reminded that
this life is MINE. I need to remember that I can control what
influences I choose to believe or not to believe. I am a grown up, and I am a logical thinker,
and I am tired of believing some of the bullshit I have repeated over and over
in my head for years.
I want to change my story.
So…today I am going to begin a conscious effort to rethink
how I talk to myself. This one
statement by a near stranger helped me realize that not only had I wasted a lot
of energy over the past 40-ish years worrying about something as insignificant
as sweat, but that this negativity was a pattern. Some things are out of my control, I get
that, but THIS one thing….how I want my story to go from here…..THAT I can control.
So next time you see me walking out of the gym all sweaty,
just know that I’m owning it, I have earned it, and I’m okay. That’s how this story is going to go from now on.
I love this LOVELOVELOVE this.
ReplyDeleteIt is one of the hardest but most rewarding things we can do for ourselves.
I promised myself that I would not say negative things about my body as soon as my daughter was born. It is not easy but it is so worth it. One of the tricks I used, (it is bitchy) was every time I caught the negative talk, I made myself say it ABOUT my daughter. It stopped.
Your honesty is inspiring. Steve just recently commented about how much I talk badly about myself. I didn't realize I was doing it...
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this new mindset and appreciate your willingness to share your thinking with the blogosphere. It really helps to know others struggle with the same thing.
Stay strong!