A Changing Story...

-

If you read my last blog, you know that there have been some things in my life that I “wished” would change, and one somewhat insignificant one was that I wished I wouldn’t sweat so much when I was at the gym.   I know….weird, but as a girl who has always had a tendency to “pit out” it’s something I have worried about for a long time.

Anyway….I was talking about it with some ladies at the gym, and we were laughing a bit, and then one gal who is relatively new to our group said something to me that I can’t get out of my head.   She said, and I’m paraphrasing here…

            “You need to go back in your memory and find the moment when you started telling yourself the story that this is a BAD thing and see why you’ve carried it with you for so long.”

Now this struck me, and I actually looked her up on Facebook to message her a thank you for inspiring me to think differently.   It had very little to do with me sweating, and everything to do with me looking at my past and realizing that I have created some of my own self fulfilling prophecies. 

I’ve put a lot of thought into this over the past several days.   It’s challenged me to look at some stuff, and I have a few things to say.

I have uncovered some very personal things this past few days, and perhaps I’ll be up for writing about them soon, but what I want to say is this….

I take responsibility for my life.   I accept it.   I own it.   I love it.

I know that things have happened to me, and I have had hard experiences that have shaped who I am, but I think I needed to be reminded that this life is MINE.   I need to remember that I can control what influences I choose to believe or not to believe.   I am a grown up, and I am a logical thinker, and I am tired of believing some of the bullshit I have repeated over and over in my head for years.  

I want to change my story.

So…today I am going to begin a conscious effort to rethink how I talk to myself.   This one statement by a near stranger helped me realize that not only had I wasted a lot of energy over the past 40-ish years worrying about something as insignificant as sweat, but that this negativity was a pattern.  Some things are out of my control, I get that, but THIS one thing….how I want my story to go from here…..THAT I can control.  

 I don’t believe in fairy tales.   I know there are going to be times that I will start to listen to the old negative mantras.   But I also finally believe that I am deserving of a little positivity from myself.  

So next time you see me walking out of the gym all sweaty, just know that I’m owning it, I have earned it, and I’m okay.  That’s how this story is going to go from now on.  

Comments

  1. Denise RiversMarch 25, 2013 at 8:50 PM

    I love this LOVELOVELOVE this.
    It is one of the hardest but most rewarding things we can do for ourselves.
    I promised myself that I would not say negative things about my body as soon as my daughter was born. It is not easy but it is so worth it. One of the tricks I used, (it is bitchy) was every time I caught the negative talk, I made myself say it ABOUT my daughter. It stopped.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AmandaMarch 28, 2013 at 8:20 PM

    Your honesty is inspiring. Steve just recently commented about how much I talk badly about myself. I didn't realize I was doing it...

    I LOVE this new mindset and appreciate your willingness to share your thinking with the blogosphere. It really helps to know others struggle with the same thing.

    Stay strong!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hi Dad....

-
Image
Hi Dad. Well, it’s been a year since you left.    That almost seems incomprehensible to me.    That it’s been a year since I heard your voice, or gave you a hug, or listened as you told a really bad joke….    It seems impossible. It seems impossible that for 365 days I have walked this planet without you to call on.    I miss you so much. We’re all a year older, and so many little things have changed.   The kids’ lives have changed, as have their interests.    We’ve travelled some, and already have plans to take mom on some trips next year.    Don’t worry, we aren’t leaving her at home.  We're getting her out.  :) It’s been a bit of a challenge learning the new normal.    We’ve all moved ahead, and although it seemed impossible a year ago, we had birthdays, and holidays, and dinners.    We added a new baby…..and have ANOTHER coming soon.    And through it all, we laughed, and we cried, but truly the laughter seems to be winning.     Even though we know
Read more

What "After" Looks Like

-
Image
I went to the gym today. Again. It’s been a while.    And I always feel a little dread when I know a workout is going to be hard.    But I went.    AGAIN.   And even though I haven’t been in a while it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t go back.    That even though I have gained a little or lost a little or whatever, that no matter what, no matter how long has passed, no matter how much I know it might suck, I ALWAYS go back. And   I had a little light bulb moment that has been brewing in my head for a while. I belong to a great gym.    Anytime Fitness in Liberty is awesome.    I love the staff, my trainer who I have been with for several YEARS is there and he rocks.    I have friends I can always count on for a hello when I am there…..    It’s great.    And I have very little to complain about except this. Before and Afters.    Corporate gyms always post the before and afters of their “success” stories to motivate people, and lately I have seen on their
Read more

I’m Headed to Church

-
Today as I am sitting here in paradise I keep thinking about how  blessed I am. People often say to me “you are SO LUCKY that you GET to travel as much as you do!”   And it’s true....I am.   I AM lucky.   And I used to be embarrassed about the travel we do, like people might think I was bragging or a show off. But the truth is, we have chosen to live our life in a way that makes travel a priority.   We live a life we can afford so we can take these vacations, and share these amazing experiences with our kids. Travel feeds my soul.    It makes me happy.   The ocean is my church.    Knowing when my next adventure is coming keeps me sane. I am blessed to have a husband who also feels the same. So I guess the message I want to share is, live your life in a way that feeds your passion, whatever it might be.   Feed your soul.   Go to “your church.”  Make what makes you feel whole a priority.    Your adventures are important.   Your happiness is important.   
Read more