Where am I Going? (This one's for YOU Mandy!)

Where am I going?  

This is a question that I used to have very clear and concise answers for.   I have always been a very focused person, and I do things with vigor and passion.   But when a few weeks ago, my trainer (thanks Mandy!!) put out a challenge to think about goals and where I would like to be 5 years from now, I couldn't answer.   That seems like an eternity away, and why do I need to think about it now?  Well, I ignored that challenge and didn't respond, but it hasn't left my head, so I think it's time to do a little soul searching and look at where I'm going again.  I think it's time to take a look at the BIG picture and celebrate success, learn from setbacks, and chart a new course.

Success.   That's an easy one to remember.   Don't we always revel in our successes?   I mean, I've become healthier than I have ever been, I've lost weight, I've achieved strength in my body and mind, and I'm happier emotionally than I have been in a long time.  I've managed to stay married  to a great man, to raise some pretty great kids, and make new and keep old friends.   I have found a community of support, and am living a truly blessed life.  Check.

Setbacks.   Ahhh....always easy to get hung up here.   I'm sure I could write for hours on my setbacks, failures, and flops, but instead I am just going to say I've had injury, heartbreak, disappointments, and some sadness.   Nothing I didn't handle, and nothing that stopped me.   I've learned from them, moved on, and continued to thrive.  (hmmm...sounds a little like a success, but we'll not go there as today's blog isn't about "turning it around."  ha.) Check!

Charting a new course.   THIS is where I get hung up.  What do I want out of the next five years...or truly even the next five days.   I'm gonna put my list out there to the cyber world, and hope that the universe will help support me.  

My Goals, both short and long term, beginning Oct. 1, 2010 - to Oct. 1, 2015 (give or take a few days....)

1.  I want to continue to live a healthy life that includes putting my needs high on my list, exercising, taking care of myself, and focusing some energy to myself alone each day.

2.  I want to raise my children to be happy and healthy individuals who have respect for others, compassion, and joy.

3.  I want to continue to push myself to try new things, be it physically or emotionally.

4.  I don't want to gain back what I have lost.

5.  I would like to find a purpose for myself outside of my kids and husband.   I am more than a wife and mother, and I think I need to work on that part of myself a little more and give her some more attention.  I was a person before this part of my life, and I need to spend a little time with that person again.

6.  I would like to do the Princess Half Marathon at least one time..

7.  I would like to find some more financial peace.

8.  I want to continue to nurture friendships that are supportive and healthy.

9.  I want to see my kids continue to succeed in their own rights.   I want them to know that they can aspire to whatever their hearts desire.   I want them to understand who they are better than I did, and remain true to themselves.

10.  I want, at the end of this five year period, to look back and know that nothing happened that I couldn't handle.   That I did my best, and although I know that there will be things I will have questioned and probably done differently, that I made the most of it.  

I am sure that there could be more on this list, and trust me, there has been editing.   The thing that hits me as I read it over is how my journey has changed.   I used to want things...money, fame, cars, houses, success.    Now my goals are more about peace and happiness.   It's nice to see that change in myself.

So...the course is set.   I'm on my way.  I am certain that it won't be all smooth sailing and that at times I'm going to want to jump ship.   Some days I even MIGHT jump, but at this point in my life I'm pretty sure I can find the strength to swim back to my boat and continue my journey.