Quiet is my Kryptonite

I've recently discovered something pretty alarming about myself.    Quiet is my kryptonite.   

I think somewhere along the way, I have turned into one of those people who thrive on chaos and noise and high energy.   I don't like it.   

I didn't know this about myself until recently.   I have always looked at the chaotic times in my life as hard, draining, and tiring.   But as things have been slowing down around here and returning to normal ( mom is okay, kids are okay, Jason is okay) I am feeling a little lost.   Like I don't know what my focus should be and I don't know what to do.   It's a little A.D.D. actually, like I can start one project, get hung up along the way, start another, and so on until I have nothing but a day full of half done things, and a mountain of laundry that I somehow forgot.   

When life is crazy and hectic, I am a genius at list making, figuring out what needs to be done and how long I have to do it, and what my priority should be.  Laundry is done, dinners are planned, homework is done, and I've probably made time to do some other task that isn't part of my normal day.   But somehow it seems that when life is slow and even keel, that I walk around feeling more lost than ever.   It is amazing to me that I feel more closed in and claustrophobic when I actually have the freedom to go wherever I want to with no restriction.   What IS that?   The only thing I can come up with is that truly.....Quiet is my kryptonite.   

I'm not really sure WHAT to do here, but I'm hoping that by putting it out there, some of the power will be lost.   I am going to try to nurture myself during these slower times and I'm guessing that the more time that passes the easier it will become.  I'm going to counter that kryptonite with things that I love....having time to spend snuggling on my kids, loving my husband, and doing some things for myself.   I've also been interested in taking some yoga classes, and I think this might be a PERFECT time for that.   So...I"ll keep you posted.    Perhaps a downward facing dog or sun salutation will make it easier not only for me to enjoy the quiet rather than dreading it, but also perhaps deal with the chaos in a more user friendly kind of way when it does return.