Sometimes I feel like a Kardashian

I'll admit it.   I have vivid dreams, and I have a pretty fun time in them sometimes.   I'm not sure if some of you who have been following me remember, but for a while...I was failing French in my dreams.   Lately, I've seemed to have taken a more "public" turn, and I am living with the Kardashian sisters.  

Part of the problem here is that I have a real "reality t.v." addiction sometimes, and in particular, I am intrigued by the whole mania that is the Kardashian family and find their shows somewhat therapeutic to watch.   However, I do think that my dream means more than wanting to be the 4th Kardashian girl (remember, the younger ones are Jenners!) but maybe that I'm starting to feel like I am falling behind, and need to get my butt in gear and do a better job of "keeping up."

As summer is drawing to a close, and the kids are going back to school, I am once again finding myself with a little more time on my hands, and a giant TO DO list for myself.   And although it's been less than a week that the kids have been back in their routine of school, I am already feeling like I'm lagging on my responsibilities.   I'm already starting to be hard on myself for not keeping up with what I had planned for myself for this time.   I was going to clean everything, paint several rooms, sew a quilt for my nephew's wedding, organize all my closets and the kid's rooms, draw, read, exercise, cook, and the list goes on and on....  I don't think that my original goals are something that I will EVER be able to keep up with, so I need to revisit them and revamp my ideas of success.   Perhaps my dream was a reminder of that.   The craziness I have set up for myself is unattainable, and I need to adjust to give myself an honest chance to "keep up."  Once again, my dream is telling me I'm overwhelmed, and something needs to give so that I can find the peace that I am searching for.

So, although I don't know quite what to let go of yet (I'll keep you posted on what I decide ot let go of), I recognize the need to adjust, and that is a good thing for me.   Although I would really like the ability to do almost anything whenever I want like my dream sisters Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney, I have realized in the light of day that I am limited in what I am capable of doing and I have to focus on what is really important to me.   I don't have an army of publicists, assistants, and nannies to help me.   I am one person, and I can only achieve so much.

I have always held the bar high for myself, but I am starting to see that sometimes in doing so, I'm setting expectations that aren't even realistic.   The reality of the fact is that I can only do so much, and I need to be okay with that.   I'm not trying to "keep up" with anyone but myself and the beauty of that is that I can set my own pace.   So, for now I'm choosing to walk away from the chaos and back into a state of real comfort, real peace, and real living.   No more trying to Keep up.