Sometimes a Reminder is All We Need

I started a journey 12 weeks ago.   A journey for me.   A journey to be the best me I can be.

And today I am struggling.    I’m struggling because the world has gone crazy and I don’t understand what is going on.    I am struggling because 12 weeks of success makes me worry about when the week with no success will come.    I worry about my kids.   I worry about my husband.   I worry about my mom, and I miss my dad.  My mind is racing.    I’m worried, and scared, and because of this, I want to veer from my path.

All this time, my mind has been in a good place.   My focus on what is important has been strong.   Today I’m struggling.

For some reason, all the old fears have crept in a little tonight.   The voice that doesn’t believe in me has reared it’s ugly head, and for a short time I have been listening.   “This won’t last, it never does.”  

But then I walked by the kitchen, and glanced in a pile of papers I needed to file, and I came upon this.

THIS, is a really important thing.   

THIS is the biggest thing I have to celebrate from the past 12 weeks of personal focus.   This is what I needed to see to remind me that what I am doing is WAY more important than giving in to that voice.  

THIS is a copy of my most recent bloodwork.

When I started with this journey, I had a comprehensive blood panel done.    It wasn’t so happy.   My liver enzymes were a mess, my triglycerides were WAY high, my C-reactive protein was WAY high, my insulin levels were off.    I had wayyyy too much iron in my blood.   Basically I was on my way to starting a very unhealthy life.  

This past week I got these results, and ALL WERE NORMAL.    Every. Single. One.    HEALTHY.   ME!!!!!!  

In 12 weeks, I have been able to make changes that have begun some SERIOUS healing within my body.   And I am doing it without the focus being solely on pounds or inches.   I am living in a healthy body, as it looks today.    In this perfectly imperfect body......I have begun change.   

I am doing it for the right reasons in the right way.

I am focusing on me.

And it’s working.  

So  to the little voice in my head that tells me that I can’t ever be healthy, that I should give up?    SHUT THE HELL UP!  I will not allow the sadness I am feeling or the stress of my surroundings set me back.   And IF I do take a step off the path, because it is GOING to happen, THIS is the motivation I need to get right back to it. My strength isn't coming from getting smaller.   My strength is coming from getting stronger and healthier.

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I started this so I could live a life without regret for things I could have changed.    I’m on my way.   And this is proof.